Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Declaration of Dependence

One message I heard loud and clear growing up is that I needed to be strong and independent. Marriage was not viewed as something permanent, so I needed to strive to be self-sufficient so that I could make it on my own. I took responsibility for myself at an early age...doing my own laundry, being responsible for my own schoolwork, saving my money, etc. I got my sense of security from being in control of everything I could. On the outside I may have appeared strong, but it was all an illusion. I could have used these words of wisdom from Isaiah 30:15.

Your salvation requires you to turn back to me
and stop your silly efforts to save yourselves.
Your strength will come from settling down
in complete dependence on me
The very thing you've been unwilling to do.

My strength would come from being dependent? The answer is yes. In college I re-committed my life to Christ and became engaged to Jeremy. One evening, Jeremy and I were out on a date discussing the future when the subject of children came up. He expressed his hope that I would be a stay-at-home mom while the kids were in school. This came as a shock to me because I had never even considered it! My mindset was to establish a career so that I would be self-sufficient "just in case". God revealed this to me and I knew in my heart that I had to choose what was to be the focus of my life...career or family. As you all know, I chose family. Some women might be able to do both just fine, but I knew for me that it had to be one or the other. Giving up the career I had been preparing for was tough because I had to transfer my dependence from myself to God and my husband. I have never once regretted that decision. And I truly feel stronger when I am able to give up control and trust God with my future.

Now I'm in the mood to jam to "Declaration of Dependence" by Stephen Curtis Chapman and praise my Creator. Care to join me? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7GpwrBn0eXQ&feature=related

1 comment:

Rooted on the Rock said...

Just wanted to confess. I read your blog and I like it. I also respect you for your choices. Your choice of a husband was good and your choice to stay at home was good. But obviously your best choice was trusting God for it all.