Your kids are at a friends house and the house is quiet. Your husband will be home soon, so you try to do your hair and put on something nice. You anticipate him coming home, pulling you into an embrace, and having some time to re-connect. But then the text comes in saying he has to work late. *Sigh*
What causes you to sigh? What unmet longings and expectations do you have?
I've been reading this book called Hope Unfolding by Becky Thompson. She put into words something that I've felt ever since becoming a momma that I couldn't quite put my finger on. She writes "True loneliness doesn't only come from being by yourself. There is another type of loneliness that comes from not being known. A loneliness that takes place when others see you, but they don't see you." Have you ever felt that loneliness? You get known and appreciated for your roles and responsibilities, but does anyone ever see you? I feel that way. *Sigh*
A few years ago, I came across this verse written by David in Psalm 38:9
All my longing - to be seen, known, desired, accepted, needed - He knows them all. Each time I sigh because of unmet expectations, He sees that too. I find comfort in that.
I have a love/hate relationship with technology...especially smartphones. It's great having the world at your fingertips, but it's not so great when it gets in the way of relationships. I remember one night last year when my insecurity was at a high and I was craving some affirmation from my husband. I just wanted to be seen and loved. He gets into bed...with his iPhone. (Men - do not bring your phone to bed with you...ever!) As you can imagine, that's where his attention went. I didn't even have the strength to ask for what I needed, so I did what any good Christian woman would do...I had a pity party for myself. Ever been there? I went downstairs and was whining to God about my unmet needs and his lack of attention, and then the weirdest thing happened. I got this picture in my mind of God with an amused look on his face, almost as if he were going to start laughing at me! It was as if He were thinking "Really? Look who you're talking to! If anyone understands what it's like to wait patiently and long for my loved ones to give me their undivided attention and desire - it's me!" He understood. He saw me. I knew right then that I was guilty of giving my attention to many things before Him. I also get distracted by all the world has to offer and lose sight of important relationships. This realization allowed me to give grace to my husband and to focus my heart on the only one who can truly fulfill my needs.
Friends, whatever you may be sighing about right now, it's not hidden from His eyes - He sees you. Seek some time alone with Him to share your heart and rest in His arms.