Friday, March 20, 2009

Desperate Housewives

I just got through the first chapter in Every Woman's Marriage by Shannon Ethridge. She blows my mind. I read Every Woman's Battle last year and was transformed by it, and now this book is starting out the same way. Almost as if she can read my mind...kinda creepy. Anyway, this is a huge lesson I've been learning over the past 6 months and have never put into words. I'll let you hear it from Shannon...

"He doesn't meet my emotional needs...I felt like I was nothing more than a maid, cook, nanny, and occasional outlet for sexual tension, positions for which I was sadly underpaid...I was constantly badgering him for not initiating romance anymore, for being too laid back...I was weary of having to hint around for my emotional needs to be met"

Sound familiar to anyone else? Now here is the lesson to be learned:

"In hindsight, I realize that my unhappiness wasn't about what my husband was or wasn't doing; rather it was about how I felt about myself. I needed him to affirm me, to make me feel beautiful, and to convince me that I was desirable, because I didn't know how to feel any of these things on my own...If we fail to acknowledge the need to work on our own issues, we believe that our relational problems must be our husband's fault...we may not stop to consider that we might play a part in our own dance of discontentment."

I am married to a wonderful man and could not ask for a better husband. However, I can't expect him to fill needs that only God can fill. I may wish he would try a little harder..lol...but I'm letting him off the hook. As Shannon says..."At some point we have to put on our big-girl panties and go through the work of resolving our own issues, remedying our own insecurities, and becoming happy with ourselves before we can truly be happy in marriage." I can tell you from experience that this is true. May God reveal to you any issues that you need to lay at His feet.

8 comments:

Amy B said...

OK-I'm soooo getting this book! Just reserved it from the library. Can't wait to read it! Thanks Jeanette!

Anonymous said...

I'll have to read this too. I just got done reading a book by Dr Alura Sessinger, and it sounds familiar to this one as well. Thanx Jeanette!

Jenn G said...

I am buying both those books you mentioned! Thanks for sharing! xoxo

Kim said...

Every woman needs to hear that. I need to read the book and apply it. Thanks for bringing it to our attention.

FireWife said...

Like everyone else, I need to get this book. Your comments are right on target of what I have found to be true in my relationship with my husband.

Wendy Morris said...

Thanks for the email about not being insignificant. I am emotionally beat down by the tensions that my husband and my oldest daughter continually create. Neither one of them look past their own noses to try and reach out to the other. My referee shirt just got torched last night. I will find the books you are talking about and give them a shot. I caught myself running numbers in my head, to see if I can make it on my own, and this is not a good thing to think about. I'm not the only woman who has thought these thoughts, I just pray for healing. Daily.

claven said...

great post! we men need to know this stuff about u girls. helps us understand... is that even possible :)

Tanya said...

Thanks Jeanette! We have this book in Next Steps( yes a little plug for the bookstore) but I have not read it. Sounds like one I need to read!