I just got through the first chapter in Every Woman's Marriage by Shannon Ethridge. She blows my mind. I read Every Woman's Battle last year and was transformed by it, and now this book is starting out the same way. Almost as if she can read my mind...kinda creepy. Anyway, this is a huge lesson I've been learning over the past 6 months and have never put into words. I'll let you hear it from Shannon...
"He doesn't meet my emotional needs...I felt like I was nothing more than a maid, cook, nanny, and occasional outlet for sexual tension, positions for which I was sadly underpaid...I was constantly badgering him for not initiating romance anymore, for being too laid back...I was weary of having to hint around for my emotional needs to be met"
Sound familiar to anyone else? Now here is the lesson to be learned:
"In hindsight, I realize that my unhappiness wasn't about what my husband was or wasn't doing; rather it was about how I felt about myself. I needed him to affirm me, to make me feel beautiful, and to convince me that I was desirable, because I didn't know how to feel any of these things on my own...If we fail to acknowledge the need to work on our own issues, we believe that our relational problems must be our husband's fault...we may not stop to consider that we might play a part in our own dance of discontentment."
I am married to a wonderful man and could not ask for a better husband. However, I can't expect him to fill needs that only God can fill. I may wish he would try a little harder..lol...but I'm letting him off the hook. As Shannon says..."At some point we have to put on our big-girl panties and go through the work of resolving our own issues, remedying our own insecurities, and becoming happy with ourselves before we can truly be happy in marriage." I can tell you from experience that this is true. May God reveal to you any issues that you need to lay at His feet.