"Ministry life is not normal." These are the words that came out of a pastor's wife at Exponential. Although my husband and I have participated in ministry most of our married lives, the past two years with him being on staff have been different. We have new titles and new responsibilities. This man that you see has a huge heart and works very hard, always striving for excellence. And since the demands on his time are never-ending, it's sometimes hard to keep everything in balance. As he's learning to manage his time, I'm learning to adjust to the new normal.
Last weekend is one example. We had a marriage conference at our church called Love And Respect. We couldn't attend in the typical fashion because Jeremy was in charge of running the sound and computer. So we did the next best thing. I sat next to him...in our "box seats" :)
And you know what? I think I enjoyed our semi-private time more than if I would have been sitting among the crowd. Sometimes it's more fun not to be normal!
I highly recommend the Love And Respect conference videos. Here are some of my take-aways:
Men and women approach things differently. It's not that one is right and the other is wrong. We are just different...from the things that we crave the most to the way we handle conflict. It was eye-opening to hear about these differences and confirm them with my husband.
These differences can also help me to understand my sons better!
My response is my responsibility. When pressure or stress is applied to something, it simply reveals the inner properties. Check out this clip...
While I think a conference is more engaging than a book, I know the Eggerichs have several books that also explain this material. I encourage you to check them out...both for marriage and parenting application
I hope to be able to say like Paul "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith". I want to finish well...and finish together.
In the 1920's, unwed and single mothers were not accepted like they are today. So when Minka Disbrow was raped and ended up pregnant, an adoption was seen as the best choice. The Waiting is the true story of Minka's journey, always longing for the little girl she had given up - and eight decades later finding her prayers answered.
The author, Cathy LaGrow, is Minka's granddaughter. No one in the family even knew that Minka had given up a baby for adoption. When the details of her story began to unfold, Cathy used old letters, her grandmother's memories, and research to portray these events as accurately as possible. The result is a beautiful memoir to a life well lived, and a reunion story that will bring you to tears.
Minka lived to be 102 years old! In the telling of her story, Cathy often brought in what was happening historically during different time periods. It's amazing to think of how much change a person can witness during a century. Minka has a lesson to teach us all about waiting...never give up! Many people would have given up hope after so long, but Minka held onto the hope that God could answer her prayer to see her baby girl again - and she got even more than she could have imagined.
This story is very well-written. Sometimes there was a bit more detail than I wanted to know, but I understand why it's there - this is a family keepsake, preserving this story for generations to come. It was interesting to travel back in time and see how another generation lived and thrived.
*I received a complimentary copy of this book from Tyndale Publishers in exchange for an honest review.
One of the workshops I attended at Exponential was about discipleship in the home. It was led by Bobby and Chad Harrington, father and son. While they admit to being far from perfect, this topic was so important to them that they helped to research and write a book called Dedicated: Training Your Children to Trust and Follow Jesus. I must have looked like I really needed the advice, because I was one of two people in the room chosen to receive a copy of the book! I have not yet read it, but plan to. What I'll share here is some of what was talked about and how it impacted me.
First, let's lay a scriptural foundation...
Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up - Deuteronomy 6:4-7
Some of this talk may occur naturally. However, I've found that spiritual conversations usually take some kind of prompting - an act of intentional forethought. It's also important to note that the commandments are first to be on OUR hearts, and displayed through our actions. I recently heard a pastor say "Your kids will do what you show them more than they will do what you tell them." Modeling is important.
If we look at how Jesus interacted with his disciples, we can see that he spent time with them, listened to them, and spoke words of wisdom. Relationship is the key to obedience. In John 14:23 Jesus says "Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching". Based on this, the Harringtons came up with these relationship equations:
Rules-Relationship=Rebellion
Relationship-Rules=Recklessness
Relationship + Rules=Righteousness
We've got the rules part down, and I desperately want to avoid the rebellion- so that leaves relationship. As my boys are growing up (now ages 8, 10 and 12) I find it increasingly more difficult to connect with them. My husband has it easy - sports and violent video games are right up his alley. He has a great relationship with them because of the time they spend together, both in work and play. I tend to be more "behind the scenes". Sure, I'm the one that makes sure they have yummy food to eat, clean clothes to wear, and keep their schedules straight - but that doesn't always translate into relationship. So my goal is to take every opportunity I get to connect on their level. Chaperoning field trips. Watching a movie with them (even when I'm not interested in it) just for the chance to cuddle on the couch. Taking them out one-on-one to do something special. Attending as many of their sporting events as possible. For you moms of pre-teen boys: What ways do you bond with your boys?
Since I wasn't raised in a Christian home, I have no example to follow on how to engage older children in spiritual conversations. How do I spark that desire in their hearts to want to follow Jesus? We have tried age-appropriate devotionals around the dinner table, but aren't great at being consistent with it. I have just started allowing my oldest to read Christian books that I pick out in order to earn money. (If that's what it takes to fill his mind with the truth - I'll do it!) One thing that Chad Harrington's mother did was to ask "What was the pit and peak of your day?" when tucking her children in at night, and then praying with them. If you were discipled by your parents growing up, what worked in your home? Let's share some ideas!
Today is Mother's Day. Our culture leads us to believe that us mothers are to be pampered on this day. While that would certainly be nice, I think the most important thing to remember is that we are blessed. God has entrusted us with a high calling - to raise up a future generation. It is too overwhelming of a task to do alone. We need His guidance and His grace. May you enjoy spending time with your children today and strengthening your relationship with them!
And you may want to take a minute to tell your Mom "Thanks" as well. I hope you enjoy this video!
My husband and I , along with some other New Hope staff members/spouses, just returned from a church planting conference called Exponential. We had a fun time bonding and learning together.
The conference was made up of several large group sessions focusing on Multiplication. There were also several smaller workshops to choose from that focused in on specific topics. I chose to learn more about Student Ministry, Discipleship in the Home, Ministry Healthiness, and Volunteer Motivation. On the last day of the conference I had all these ideas swirling around in my mind, and they began to form together into a personal vision for me. My plan is to share with you over the next several weeks some of what I've learned and how I plan to apply it. I share both for accountability and in the hope that these ideas may spark something in your spirit as well!
For today, I'll begin with an overview. Future posts will delve more into specifics...
I need to begin with a healthy foundation. If I'm not healthy, I can't help others. This includes physical, relational, emotional, and spiritual components. When these are met, I can better fulfill the roles that God has called me to.
WHAT I'VE BEEN CALLED TO DO:
1) To Make Disciples - This is a task Jesus gave all Christians to do.
My priority is to do this in the home - with my boys. My first inclination is to look outside these walls to how I can serve the church. However, if I fail at home, it matters little what else I've done. I've been entrusted for this season to disciple these boys, and it won't happen by accident. It needs to be intentional.
I also desire to disciple other women through leading by example and sharing with them as authentically as I can. (That's part of why I decided to put writing back on my priority list!)
2) To Support and Encourage My Husband
I am his only wife, and I plan for that not to change! In order for him to minister to others, I need to step up in others areas...and to do it with a good attitude :) I also need to faithfully pray for him.
3) To Serve My Church/Community
To volunteer where I'm needed and in accordance with my gifting, but not in a way that cheats my family
To continue subbing a few days a week - giving teachers a reliable replacement and building relationships with the students
So there it is...a compilation of all those bits and pieces of information. I don't fully understand the "how" on some of these things. But I know where my focus needs to be and can use these goals to filter my decision-making through. In the coming weeks I will explore these topics in further detail and also ask for your input!
If you want to join me on this journey, check this site every Sunday. I think a weekly goal is attainable :) Until then, begin thinking through what you believe YOU have been called to, and evaluate whether your schedule is filled with activities that are in agreement with YOUR goals.
May the Lord bless you and protect you.
May the Lord smile on you and be gracious to you.
May the Lord show you his favor and give you his peace.
Sometimes it's nice to read a book purely for entertainment. I like fictional stories that can capture my attention similar to watching a movie, but that are also free from the foul language and sexual immorality that is overtaking our culture. I am pleased to say that Finding Me was one of those good stories!
The plot focuses on a young woman who discovers after her father's death that she had another family she had been taken from as a child. She then goes on a search to discover who this family is and decide whether she should reveal the truth to them, or keep it a secret. The scenario is a bit far-fetched, but the characters and their struggles are very real.
The only critique I have is that the ending felt a bit rushed. The anticipation built throughout the story and then when that moment finally came I thought, "Wait...that's it?" Give me some more dialogue and details! The ending was sufficient...I just wanted more.
If you're looking for a book to take out to the pool this summer, this is a good choice! There are also 6 discussion questions at the end of the book which can be used in a book club.
*I received a complimentary copy of this book from Bethany House in exchange for an honest review.
I first heard of Kara's story through a post on Facebook, leading me to her blog. Here was a young mom, about my age, going through something I can't even imagine - battling terminal cancer. I wanted to learn more about her journey and what she has learned through it.
This book gives glimpses into Kara's life in a very transparent and genuine way. She expresses her heart clearly and urges the reader to apply the lessons she has learned to his/her own situation. There are discussion questions at the end of each chapter to help with that.
One insight I appreciated was her discussion of Proverbs 1:33 which states "Whoever listens to me will dwell secure and will be at ease, without dread of disaster." Kara reminds us that it doesn't say God will remove the disaster, but he can remove the dread if we really sit and listen to Him. She writes "The dread and fear are what so often steal our peace and leave us on the edges of our moments exhausted. We meet the scary of life and forget to turn to God and listen and know His peace. We scramble to control, fix, and protect from hard. The imagined fears and worries often break us more than reality." I think we all need reminders like these...to slow down, listen, and trust God.
I did have a hard time grasping the time line of events Kara described in her story. She does not use dates or many time frames to indicate a chronological order or how much time had elapsed between different stops on her journey. While I enjoyed the specific memories, it was difficult to see the whole picture. It also took a while for me to get used to the way Kara sometimes uses adjectives as nouns. It would interrupt the flow of reading for me, until I realized it was just her style. Pictures would have been a nice addition to the book as well.
Readers can learn more about Kara's story, and see pictures on her blog site: www.mundanefaithfulness.com. I was saddened to read that she went to Heaven just a few weeks ago. (Not for her sake, but for those she left behind!) Now her loved ones are left with this beautiful keepsake, preserving her thoughts and encouraging words for generations to come.
*I received a complimentary copy of this book from David C. Cook Publishers in exchange for an honest review.
There are 2 reasons I decided to read this book. The first is that I didn't know much about these 7 men and I wanted to learn their stories. George Washington. William Wilberforce. Eric Liddell. Dietrich Bonhoeffer. Jackie Robinson (I was probably most familiar with him due to the recent movie 42). Pope John Paul II. Charles W. Colson. Some of these names I had never heard. Others I recognized but knew little about. Each of them contributed to society in a way that is worth learning about and remembering. Eric Metaxas writes is a style that is easy to read and kept my attention.
The second reason I wanted to read this book is for my three boys. I think it's good for them to have male role models to look up to other than sports stars. The author puts it this way: "This is a book that doesn't talk about manhood...but that shows it in the actual lives of great men. You can talk about right and wrong and good and bad all day long, but ultimately people need to see it. Seeing and studying the actual lives of people is simply the best way to communicate ideas about how to behave and how not to behave. We need heroes and role models." Will I have my sons read this someday? Yes. I think junior high and up would be an appropriate age.
This book could be read from start to finish, as I did, or the chapters could be read individually. This would be a great resource for someone writing a report on any of these men. An index at the back of the book can be used for reference.
*I received a complimentary copy of this book from BookSneeze in exchange for an honest review.
"Ministry life is not normal." These are the words that came out of a pastor's wife at Exponential. Although my husband and I have participated in ministry most of our married lives, the past two years with him being on staff have been different. We have new titles and new responsibilities. This man that you see has a huge heart and works very hard, always striving for excellence. And since the demands on his time are never-ending, it's sometimes hard to keep everything in balance. As he's learning to manage his time, I'm learning to adjust to the new normal. 
