Expectations

Yesterday was Mother's Day. I could have expected to wake up to a hot homemade breakfast, flowers, and heartfelt cards telling me how wonderful I am :) I could have expected to get the "day off" and do no chores of any kind...a day of total relaxation. I could have expected that someone else would do those chores so they wouldn't all be waiting for me Monday morning. I could have expected that my children would be perfect angels and would cease to argue and disobey. But those expectations would have led to disappointment. They wouldn't be grounded in reality.

So instead, when I woke up yesterday morning I decided to get my attitude in the right place. I told God "I am so thankful to be a mother. There are many women that aren't able to have children. I have been blessed with 3 active, healthy boys! Today I don't want to focus on ME. I want to focus on Your faithfulness in growing my family and making me a mother." And I believe I was able to enjoy my Mother's Day much more because of it.

I have learned that I have the tendency to daydream and "anticipate" certain events in my life. While all anticipation isn't bad...what happens when expectations aren't met? Disappointment and discontentment. I find that much of my unhappiness in life comes from unmet expectations. And that is something I have control over! If my expectations of how life "should be" are coming from fictional movies or books, or my own imagination, then I am setting myself up for a fall. It's a difficult thing to separate myself from because I really enjoy those types of entertainment! However, I know what is best for me. Real life. Real people. Real experiences. And most importantly...God's truth and perspective. Is there an area of your life that is causing you unhappiness? A change of attitude and expectation might be a good place to start.

Fixing My Thoughts

"Finally, [sisters], whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things" - Phillipians 4:8

This is one of my life verses. I believe that our thought life is so important because our thoughts influence the way we feel, which influences the way we act. Sometimes I notice myself falling into bad patterns of thinking. I might start to worry, become fearful, discontent, negative, you get the idea. When this happens, I've found that it helps to examine what I'm allowing to fill my mind.

Do these words describe the TV shows and movies that you watch? Pure. Lovely. Admirable. Praiseworthy. (If they do, I would like to know what you're watching!) Do these words describe the books or magazines that you read? How about the lyrics to the songs you listen to? All these things influence us whether we realize it or not. While I have become more selective in what I allow in, there is no escaping the messages the world throws at us. So in addition to minimizing the "bad stuff" we must also be filling our minds with the truth.

I try to fill myself with little bits of truth and fix my thoughts on God throughout the day. In the morning I try to get up before my boys so I can read a little Scripture and be still to listen and pray (which is the only quiet time in my house!) Sometimes when a verse jumps out at me I will write it down and place in somewhere in the house where I see it often. When I'm cooking a meal or cleaning I turn on Christian music, or at least music that has a positive message. And in those fortunate moments of time when the boys are napping or playing well together, I get to escape to read a book...focusing on topics that will benefit my life. The more I fix my thoughts on things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy...the more I find myself content and open to God's leading in my life.

"Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you." - Romans 12:2 (msg)