New Adventure

Those kicking and screaming death-throes moments when you realize you aren't and you can't are God's opportunities to show you He is and He can -  Marcia Moston

I need more of those moments.  With the exception of leading a small group, my life is pretty comfortable.  I love having my days free to work at my own pace and bury myself in books.  But at the same time I find myself longing for more adventure...more of a challenge.

One thing that has been mentioned to me several times over the past 6 months is substitute teaching.  While the schedule is ideal, I dismissed the idea quickly.  You see, while everyone is saying "You'll be great at it!" inside I know that it won't come naturally to me.  I'm a planner...not someone who is comfortable with change and spontaneity.  I'm not a natural with kids.  I fear being in a situation where I don't know what to do or say.  What if I fail?  And (now this is really bad...) what if they don't like me?

I kept hearing about the need and began wanting to help.  What finally occurred to me is that I don't need to do it perfectly.  I am not going to do everything as well as a full-time teacher would do it.  I won't do it as smoothly as someone who has experience subbing.  I don't have to be someone else...I can just be me and that's ok.  Where I am weak, God can show off. (I'm counting on it!) 

My questions began to change to: What if I am missing out on something because I'm too scared to try?  What if I forfeit this opportunity to see God working through me?  What if I can bring a smile or a kind word to some children who don't get that love at home?  What if I can make a difference?

I feel a bit nervous, but also excited.  I'm going to need God to show up in a big way.  The application has been turned in.  My license is being processed.  Let the adventure begin!