Waiting was hard for Abraham and Sarah too. God had promised him descendants as numerous as the stars, but Sarah was old and barren. "As Abram's faith was developed and tested, delay was seen in the fulfilling of God's promise. In moments of weakness there are suggestions of alternative plans - plans not characterized by faith. Human efforts to assist in the fulfilling of divine promises complicated the matter." (Bible Knowledge Commentary)
So Sarah suggests they "help God out" by having Abraham sleep with her maidservant and build a family through her. This was an acceptable solution during that time, but it demonstrated a lack of faith. They had simply grown tired of waiting. The maidservant did bear a son and named him Ishmael, but many tensions developed within the family. God then told Abraham that Sarah would also bear him a son...at the age of 90! After recovering from his laughter, Abraham said to God, "If only Ishmael might live under your blessing!" And while God did promise to bless Ishmael, He said his covenant would be fulfilled through Isaac, Sarah's son.
"While we are tempted to criticize the couple for not believing a miracle could emerge from Sarah's womb, then coming up with an alternate plan and expecting God to bless it, don't we do the same? Rather than patiently and expectantly asking God "What dreams do you want to bring to life through me?" We often ask "Lord, will you bless the dreams I have for my life?" Our self-sufficiency results in many ministries that ultimately bear human-sized fruit rather than an abundant, God-sized harvest" (Shannon Ethridge)
I honestly don't know what God has in mind for my life other than being a wife and mother. I know there is something. I feel like I'm being prepared, but I don't know what for! And I don't want to get impatient and run ahead of God and what He's doing. I pray that when the time is right, I will know what His dream is...and that it will result in a ministry that produces fruit as numerous as the stars.