Monday, September 19, 2011

A War Between Confidence and Doubt

The title of this post came from a song lyric, but it's one I can relate to.  A war between confidence and doubt...a war I've been in for too long.  I've filled my head with the truth and I know who I am and whose I am, but allowing that to take root in my heart and live it out takes time.  At times I get inspired and really excited at how God could use me to make a difference, and then the doubt sets in.  Do I really have anything to say worthwhile?  Do I have anything to offer?  Someone else could certainly do it better.  I take my eyes off of "Christ in me" and start looking at just me with all my insecurities and weaknesses.  That's one reason my blogging has become infrequent recently.  I think too much about how something might be perceived and eventually talk myself out of writing it!  Even now that Backspace button looks appealing :)  However, this blog is one thing I have received positive feedback on, and I don't want to be guilty of neglecting or failing to develop something that may have been given to me as a gift.  My plan is to post something each Monday, whether I feel like it or not.  I'm making no promises as to the content other than it will be me.

I had a cool "God Moment" this morning.  I was reading 1 Timothy 4:12 "Don't let anyone think less of you because you are young.   Be an example to all believers in what you teach, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity."  I thought that sounded like a great mission statement for me and decided to not only put it on an index card with the intent of memorizing it, but to actually do it.  Then I continued on with my morning routine and got on the treadmill with my iPod, ready to listen to the latest podcast by Pastor Steven Furtick of Elevation Church (who by the way is an amazing preacher and the sermons can be downloaded for free from iTunes).  He finished his message and had a teen come out to talk for a minute.  The verse that was shared?  1 Timothy 4:12.  I love when God confirms something in that way.

Here's the song that I referenced earlier.  May you all have a blessed week!


Anonymous said...

Keep Blogging! You are precious and God has alot to share through you! :)

Jeremy Gessner said...

May God bless you for your obedience and determination! Share your thoughts, and God will use them to speak to people.