The following is a post I don't want to write. It's a lesson I'd rather keep to myself because I know there will be people who won't agree. But the more I see and hear, the more I realize it's a subject that needs to be brought up and talked about.Ever since becoming a Christian I've had a question that never had a clear answer. "Is it ok for a married person to be friends with someone of the opposite sex?" (By "friend", I mean more than business-related or small talk). A few years ago I would have said yes. I thought as long as there was not an obvious problem with lust or something inappropriate physically that it was ok. Today I would answer differently. Here's a few reasons why...
Marriages are falling apart all around me, both non-believers and Christians. Sometimes a physical affair is involved. But even if it isn't, there is usually an "understanding" member of the opposite sex who has befriended one or both individuals. Things start out very innocent, but once that person starts to listen and meet emotional needs that the spouse is not, there is trouble. My eyes have been opened to this pattern that is being repeated over and over in various forms.
I believe that opposite-sex friendships give Satan a foothold in our lives. There is even more to consider than the obvious temptation of emotional or physical affairs. Let's say the relationship is 100% innocent...is there any harm? One thing to consider is the spouse. There is potential for jealousy and feelings of insecurity to arise in them, which could put distance in any relationship. And then there is the potential for rumors to spread. It doesn't matter if they are true or not...rumors could do damage to our witness for Christ. Satan wants us turning to members of the opposite sex rather than to God or same-sex friendships because there is so much destruction for him to put into motion. Marriages destroyed...friendships strained...Christians losing their power to influence others...
Being someone who grew up with mostly male friendships I can tell you that this part of married life has been a struggle for me at times. I have had to give up a good friendship. It wasn't easy...but it was right. I figure I'm already in a battle with the enemy, and I certainly don't need to be providing him with more ammunition. Decide today what your boundaries will be. Pray that your eyes will be opened to Satan's schemes. And please feel free to comment any thoughts you have on the subject.
3 comments:
I completely agree on all counts, plus a few more (that I graciously deleted before commenting).This happens with increasing frequency…and I thank you, Jeanette, for listening to the Spirit’s prompting to post this.
As Christians, we all too often stand and wring our hands, promise to pray, and are heartbroken over these falls – and yet we never speak the cold, hard truth to the person or couple. We don’t want to offend, to come off as ‘holier than thou’, to presume to judge another…WE buy into satan’s peripheral lie that it’s none of our business. So – he’s won, not just one battle, but two. WE need to have more courage, be more obedient. If the person ‘disowns’ us, or continues damaging behavior, we can still stand at peace in the knowledge that we stood up for Biblical values and God’s word. We need to stop being so selfish as to think that God never wants us to be uncomfortable – whether we’re one of those people who needs to give up an extra marital opposite-sex relationship, or one of the brothers/sisters who needs to speak some truth…lovingly judging not the person, only the sin.
I agree too! Thanks for posting!
I agree with you 100%. Well said!
Angie
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