Pulling Weeds

 ***Disclaimer: In preparing to write this blog post, I tried to find a google image for "weed hidden in flowers".  What I found, is that there are many people trying to figure out how to hide marijuana in plain sight!  That is not the type of weed referenced in this post.*** :)

Have you ever noticed how weeds like to hide?  Sometimes I can look at my flowerbed and think everything looks great.  Take a look at these irises...no weeds, right?

But when I took a closer look, I found a few of these....

The same can be true with our thoughts.  We can think everything appears healthy, but then a weed suddenly rears its ugly head.  

I have learned to identify these destructive weeds by my reactions.  I can be in a perfectly good mood, when all of a sudden a certain comment or circumstance can cause me to snap.  Have you ever been there?    It might be one of my kids asking "What are we having for dinner?", but in that tone that suggests he's about to complain about it.  Or it could be my husband telling me about plans he's made when I was anticipating him being home.  That's when the leaves part, and my weeds of bitterness can be clearly seen.

Why should we pull weeds?  

1. Weeds multiply quickly.

Hebrews 12:15 (MSG) states "Keep a sharp eye out for weeds of bitter discontent.  A thistle or two gone to seed can ruin a whole garden in no time."

One thistle plant can produce thousands of seeds.  They can spread and grow quickly.  Our bitter thoughts can do the same...coming out with more frequency and intensity.  

2. Weeds compete with other plants for nutrients, sunlight, and water.

Whatever we feed grows.  Whatever we starve dies.  Weeds steal what our plants need to thrive!  I try to watch what I'm letting into my mind.  What thoughts am I dwelling on?  The more positive and truthful thoughts that I focus on, the more I feed my faith.  When things are in a proper perspective, my bitterness lessens and is overshadowed by gratitude.

"Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable.  Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." - Philippians 4:8

3.  Weeds compete for space.

Roots spread underground and take up space in the soil.  The more space taken up with weeds, the less space is available for nutritious vegetables and beautiful flowers.  When weeds of bitterness are seen in my life, it takes away from the potential beauty that I have to offer. 

4. Weeds can hide the crop.

Have you ever gone to pick your vegetables and found that they were suddenly too big to be useful?  Zucchini is one that can grow quickly.  If it gets hidden and you don't pick it in time, the zucchini gets hard and seedy.  By keeping the weeds under control, the "fruit" is more easily seen.  If I want people to see Jesus through my words and actions, I need to keep weeding the garden.

These past 5 months of uncertainty and isolation have been a struggle.  Conditions are right for the weeds to flourish, but I am determined to keep pulling up those weeds when I see them, so that I can focus on the blessings and let the good stuff grow.  

The next time you see a weed in your garden or flowerbed, may these thoughts of mine cause you to also look inward and pull out any weeds of bitterness that have started to grow.  

 

Me Too

A few days ago I picked up a book off my shelf that I had bought months earlier.  The title is "Connected: Curing the Pandemic of Everyone Feeling Alone Together".  A few months ago the word pandemic held little personal meaning.  Now, however, that word jumped out at me.

In trying to help the reader relate to a pandemic, the author says "We've all seen the movies where a pandemic threatens our collective way of life.  Eventually, a cure is discovered and the people are saved from an ominous threat."  The book was written in 2014.  At that time, pandemics only happened in the movies or history books.  Now we are living in one...except the cure has yet to be discovered.  If anyone would have told you even two months ago what our lives would be like today, would you have believed them?  I wouldn't have.

It's strange to realize that people around the world are all experiencing the same thing.  We sponsor 2 children through Compassion.  One is in Bolivia and one in Indonesia.  Both of their centers are closed due to the virus.  Everyone is being impacted.

Do you worry if you are doing enough to protect your family?  Staying distant enough?  Cleaning well enough?  Do you worry about you and your loved ones getting sick?  Do you get paranoid being out in public when the need arises....imagining germs on every surface and infection lurking in everyone you see?  Do you look to the future and wonder how this is ever going to resolve itself? Me Too.  I feel just the least bit uneasy, and my first thought is...uh-oh...here it comes.  I heard my son cough the other day and must have looked at him strangely because his response was "Don't worry Mom, I just swallowed water wrong."  It's like I'm just waiting for the inevitable.

I've posted a lot about our family having fun and making the best of our time at home.  But that worry is always laying just beneath the surface.  I daily have to take my worries and give them to God.  I try to re-focus my thoughts on what I have control over TODAY.

I heard Joby Martin say "Worry does not solve tomorrow's problems, it just sucks all of the joy out of today".  How true that is.  It doesn't mean not to prepare.  It means that when I keep replaying all the "what-if" scenarios in my head, I'm wasting my day worrying about things that probably won't even happen.  And if they do, well, it's out of my control.  I may as well live in the moment and make  whatever time I have with my loved ones count!  I want to keep my joy and help spread it to others. I can't do that when I worry, and neither can you.

So for what it's worth, I just wanted to take the time to say "We're in this together".  These are scary times, but our fear does not have to have the final word.  Let's encourage one another and look for the good.  There is hope.  As we get ready to celebrate Easter this Sunday, remember that the One who overcame death is still very much alive.  He loves us.  He sees us.  He is with us.  And He can be trusted with our future.

This a great devo that helped me this week.  If anxiety is getting a hold on you, take the 15 min to watch.  I pray your worry will be replaced with peace.

Family Fun in Lockdown

Yesterday was my youngest son's birthday.  We now have 3 teenagers!  He was supposed to have gone to a CAVS game with his Dad (he had won pretty awesome seats at a basketball camp last summer).  But instead, we were all at home.  He has had a great attitude.  Besides getting to pick what we ate all day, he decided our dinner was going to have a "twist".  Eating spaghetti, but no hands allowed!  It definitely turned an ordinary meal into something we will all remember.  And we now have more empathy for our dog, who eats with no hands every day.

One thing that Brady has been really into lately is Rubik's cubes.  He has many different varieties and can solve the basic 3x3 in under 20 seconds.  Blows my mind!  Since I suddenly have all this time on my hands, I decided that I'm going to let him teach me something that he loves.  My brain isn't as quick as it used to be, so I'm only doing it one step at a time.  Once I get comfortable with that, I have him teach me the next one.  By next week I may have solved my first Rubik's cube 😁

But the most fun we've had is with our family project!  It started out as an idea to record a song.  Ever since being in a quartet at church this Christmas, Jeremy and Jacob have wanted to find another song to sing.  So we decided to look for a quartet and record it, each of them singing two parts.  (It works perfectly that my son has a lower singing voice than his Dad).  I found one of my favorite quartet songs, For the Longest Time by Billy Joel.  Then this idea came to me to re-write the words and make it a parody....since we were going to be stuck at home "for the longest time".  Within a few hours, I had written a rough draft of the lyrics.  Who knew I had some hidden songwriting ability.  Jeremy and the boys made some changes and tweaked some words and we were good to go!  Then it got taken one step further.  Instead of just singing the song, let's shoot video to go along with it.  This project was getting more complicated by the minute!  We have always enjoyed the parody videos that the Holderness family makes (look them up on YouTube if you haven't seen them....they are so good!)  Now we were about to create our own.

We have spent time together, been creative, and have laughed a lot.  My husband has amazed me with his video editing skills.  We would never have had the time to do this with our normal schedule.  What ideas do you have of things that your family could do together that wasn't possible before, but is now?  Create memories.  Take advantage of the time you've been given.  And enjoy our creative attempt to bring a smile to your face :)

Quarantined with Teenagers - Week One

While we aren't officially quarantined (no one is sick), we are doing our best to follow the rules and be socially responsible.  Our first week at home was filled with some wins and some challenges.

I knew right away that doing school at home meant we needed structure.  I'm thankful that my boys are self-motivated and independent.  Even so, if given the choice, video games probably rank higher than school work on their list.  So here's what we did that has worked very successfully:





School Hours 8-3, with a one hour lunch/free time break.

Activities allowed during school hours:

• Must check email and do assignments for all classes
• Exercise
• Playing instruments
• Must do one household chore
• Reading
• Other non-screen activities

I have not heard "I'm bored".  There's been very little arguing.  And as you can see in the picture, they have even been helping each other with homework when needed!  WIN!  

Our schedule is typically very full.  While it's been disappointing to have all our plans cancelled, it does give us more time as a family in the evenings.  We've been watching movies together, playing games, and watching home videos (this always gets us laughing). WIN!

The most challenging thing for me right now is managing my own time in a way that reduces anxiety and isolation.  Trying to find that balance between "staying informed" and resting in faith.  It's hard to scroll Facebook anymore without feeling anxious, yet that's how to best stay "connected" to other people. Ugh.  How can I stay emotionally and physically healthy during this time?  

My goal this week is to set a schedule for me.  Not one that is rigid, but one that gives me a plan of how to productively spend my time.  I need to balance the "news" with faith-filled content that gives me perspective.  I need to exercise since I now have the time to actually do it consistently!  I need to clean those places in my house that NEVER get cleaned.  I need to intentionally stay in touch with people.  And whenever possible, I need to get outside (maintaining appropriate social distances, of course).  

This way of life may become our "new normal" for a while, so I plan to embrace the opportunity.  Being forced to spend time with my family is not a hardship.  Grocery shopping online is actually kind of nice.  I can do this.  You can do this.  May we come out of "quarantine" as stronger and healthier people, more thankful for everything we so often take for granted. 

COVID-19

The topic of most conversations and facebook posts this week...the coronavirus.  This is my favorite meme.  What crazy times we're living in!  So it's no surprise that as I was reading my Bible this morning, the Scriptures were speaking to me about our current situation.  Let me start by sharing with you what I read from Hebrews 13:15-17.

"Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise-the fruit of lips that confess his name.  And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.  Obey your leaders and submit to their authority.  They keep watch over you as men who must give an account.  Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you."

A sacrifice of praise.  When events are cancelled that we were looking forward to, disappointment is guaranteed.  Our instinct is to complain and grumble.  My family has been affected by this as I'm sure yours has.  We've had awards banquets and sporting events cancelled.  A musical the boys have been preparing for postponed.  Tickets for CAVS games that most likely will not have spectators.  Not to mention the fact that with schools closing I will be going 3 weeks without pay.  There is plenty to grumble about!  This is when praise becomes a sacrifice.  To choose to think in a positive way and speak in a way that builds others up as opposed to creating more discontentment.  I have loved reading posts from people who are choosing to embrace the downtime with family and see the blessings that come with having calendars that are less full.  This is my challenge:  the next time you feel like complaining, look for the blessing and give praise instead!

Do good and share with others.  I have not been to the grocery store this week, so I have not witnessed the madness firsthand.  From what I've heard, there is a lot of hoarding and selfishness happening in our communities.  Don't buy more than you normally would.  Share with others what you have, including toilet paper!  Let's come together and be the good.

Obey your leaders.  I've read opinions on both sides.  I don't know what the "right" decisions are.  However, I trust that our leaders are more educated than I am on the issues at hand.  They are responsible for our communities and our country.  If they decide to err on the side of caution to try to contain the spread of this virus, we should listen and obey.  Yes, it will be an inconvenience.  But they were elected to make the tough decisions and we need to submit to that authority.  I would rather be inconvenienced than end up in a crisis.

These thoughts have challenged me and reminded me to make the best of these days.  Be wise, be kind, and don't panic - God is still in control.

Bread and Circuses

I just finished reading a book by Levi Lusko called Through the Eyes of a Lion.  One analogy he used jumped off the page for me.  But to understand it, let me refresh your memory with a tiny history lesson...

The setting is Ancient Rome.  This probably brings to mind chariot races, gladiator games, and the Roman Colosseum.  What you might not remember is the purpose behind these games...to prevent civil unrest by keeping the poor happy.  Roman leaders believed that if the people were kept fed and entertained (bread & circuses), they would be less likely to notice, complain, or revolt against the empire.  And it worked!

Because I substitute teach at the junior high school, I get some social studies refreshers from time to time.  So when I read the sub-title "Satan's Weapon: Bread and Circuses" in Levi's book, I knew exactly what he was talking about.  Our enemy has many tactics.  When he can't get us to sin, the next best thing is to distract us to the point that we neglect fulfilling our calling.  He writes "This destruction by distraction is difficult to detect when it's happening, because it doesn't involve bad things but good things - that take the place of the most important things."  By focusing on superficial things we can easily forget about what matters.

Sports.  Television.  Video Games.  Casinos.  Movies.  Concerts.
Are these bad things? No.  Do they distract us?  You bet.

Feeling far from God?  Distance in your marriage?  Kids rebelling or struggling in school?  Neighbors in need of love and hope?  Poor that need help?  We can rise up and do something about these things, or we can numb our minds and appetites with bread and circuses.

Often times it takes a tragedy to open our eyes and re-focus on what's important.  Enjoy life and all it has to offer, but be intentional about what is taking up your time and using your resources.

It's 2020...the year of perfect vision.  Let's keep our eyes open.

Getting Back Up

My boys are fans of the Marvel superhero movies.  This summer we decided as a family to start watching through the movies from beginning to end, in chronological order.  The first movie in the list (although it was one of the most recent to be released) was Captain Marvel.

My favorite scene is near the end.  Carol's enemy is trying to keep her down by reminding her of all her failures...all the times she was weak, defeated, fallen.  But then Carol's perspective shifts.  Instead of focusing on the falling down, she remembers what happens afterward....how she gets back up.  This is what gives her strength and empowers her to fight.



As I was reading my Bible this morning, this verse stood out to me.  In Mark 9:31 Jesus said "The Son of Man is going to be delivered into the hands of men.  They will kill him, and after three days he will rise."  The disciples did not understand.  A Savior that would be killed?  That doesn't make sense.  And in the first few days after Jesus was crucified, they were only able to see the loss and feel the sadness and disappointment.  They had forgotten the second part of this statement....that after three days he will RISE!  That is when God's power and promise are revealed and understood.

In the moment, we tend to only see our failure or loss.  But people of faith can look back and shift their perspective from seeing the failure, to recognizing the moment that we got back up.  We overcame.  That is what gives us strength and hope.

As my boys get older (now 12, 14, and 16) I have to lessen my control and allow them to take on more responsibility.  This is hard because I want to protect them.  I don't want them to fail.  I want to keep them safe.  Yet I also realize that the way they will learn and gain strength is THROUGH this process of failing and getting back up again.  When I start to worry "What If...?", I need to remind myself that God is faithful.  I now have a child driving!  What if...?  How do I control that fear?  By reminding myself that whatever may happen to knock us down, God is faithful, and we will eventually rise.

My challenge to you is to look back on your life as Carol did, by focusing not on your failures and heartaches, but on how you overcame them and got back up.  You can do it again.

"At the bottom of the deepest, darkest what-if imaginable is a faithful God." -Steven Furtick